The Eclectic Manifesto eZine

Dear readers, Welcome to my garden of cheesy verses, truly Vogon poetry for the masses. I hope you enjoy! I get tired of Hallmark style poetry, and decided to come up with some witty but weird doggerel for y'all.

  Dear Auntie Elfi, I just spent three hours working on a project and then accidentally deleted the whole thing. I want to throw my laptop out the window and move to a cave. What should I do? — Digitally Desperate Dear DD, Auntie Elfi once accidentally overwrote half of the zines she had written. The self hatred was strong in this one. Then I realized that life is too short for that bullshit, and wrote three more zines that night. Go take a warm shower, stand under the spray for a while, relax, have a cup of chamomile tea, and forgive yourself. Then get back to work. Dear Auntie Elfi, My neighbor keeps giving me 'helpful' advice on how to raise my dogs, but their own dog is a holy terror that won't stop barking. I want to be polite, but I’m about ten seconds away from telling them where to shove their training manual. Help! — Barking Mad Dear Barking, Auntie Elfi is not religious, but when somebody tells her how to do something that they have obviously failed to do, she rem...